promise

2009-09-20T22:25:00.000-07:00

i just find it unfair to be pointed at.
when i do not point.
one can continue to be sensitive.
i aint just gonna care.
because this is me.
this is kenneth.
i realise,
that i m surrounded by people with sensitive mind.
don try to be caring when u are just be annoying.
cos when u try, things just turn out worst.
i know u guys meant me well, want me to change for the better.
but in case u guys do not know, u guys make me feel uneasy and stress when hanging out wif u all.

i hope i do not lose my faith.
i trying my best.
i ll give my best to read up more on the bible.
sorry my friends in church.
but i ll still strive on.
with u guys, i will.

well, i choose my path.

2009-09-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

idiotic jack, commenting that my post are all emo shit.
its called expressing myself. ok. LOL.

ok firstly. finally. POP-ed.
well. lots of different kinds of friends i made.
fun, laughter, quarrels, hardship, we went thru it together.
Tekong BMTC school 1 Quebec platoon 3.
shall meet again.

currently is my block leave.
anyone wanna meet me, feel free to call me, i accept all invitations if i m interested. lol.
on the 18th i will be receiving my posting.
22nd sept, sadly my bday, will be reporting to camp.
shall look forward to the future path ahead. whether it turns out bad or good.
no comments cos WE LAN LAN HAve TO SERVE, Have SERVE.
lol.

hmmmm, hope my this block leave, i can have some happening events.
have not been able to go enjoy properly. therefore no pictures to update.
n yet my facebook is functionable. don ask why, i aso donno.

this week. there are certain news to pray for n congrats for.
firstly, my buddy, FS is having a match on the 27th. wish him luck, n may the victorioues rays shine upon u.
secondly, qiqi, wishing u the best of all blessings in ur new relationship.
lastly, myself, my birthday is reaching yet no plans. lol.

may all my friends who i care n concern, live with life with great wellness, great health, great strength and great power, and great blessings.
END.

2009-08-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

1 week to POP.
22days to both my new posting and my 22nd birthday.
which i aint expecting much. ( like who remembers )
getting used to army life.
so be it if people things i keng.
i choose to my own safety road down the path in army.
all i just want is to avoid getting injured or worsen my injuries.

somehow i yearn to see someone every book out.
and i donno m i thinking too much.
but i m just concerned whether she bothers bout me.
cos things doesnt seem to be pleasant when i don get her response.
or maybe i just suck at going after her.
suck at expressing myself.
i donno if time is bullshit.
but it seems time is playing with me. making me confused. giving problems every minute.
how i just hope her to be my listening ear. which like it doesnt seem that she wans to be.
blablabla. i m complaining yes i m. but forgive me my friends. other then army, i need some other life back.
whatever. i m just confused.

great one, be with me, i ask you. amen.

2009-08-09T21:25:00.000-07:00

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
stress
ns is for everyone
but m i the sway one.

att c aso wrong.
got fever aso wrong.
MO give att c, i aso wrong.
i att c cannot clean rifle aso wrong.
everything push the blame on me.
F hell go die la. NB.

2009-08-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

well.
its already 2 mths in tekong.
still i find it hard to accept the fact of changing from a civilian to a soldier.
with blessings, i was able to complete my field camp.
but still my injuries are getting worst.
my knee hurts so badly.
my health's getting worst.
it seems as though my asthma would come back anytime.

during my days in tekong,
i randomly would think of her.
or should i say i miss her.
but all i get see is photos of her.
calling her is almost impossible.
because admin time is burned,
due to stupid reasons created by different individuals.
my only time to see her, is my friday nights or saturday nights.
but it seems to be for the next 3 weeks,
i would not be able to see her.
or go out with her.
have dinner with her.
well,
let just hope things does not get worse.
i just wanna cherish my time whenever i can when i get to meet her.
all this problems,
i really hope i can get my blessings as i pray for the better.

after all,
i still have to get this phrase into my head,
its not what u leave behind, its what you will gain in the days ahead.
get it in so badly,
that i can survive and do well though my ns life.

see you when i get to. :)

ps;
sorry my church frens, i ll try my best to attend service.
sorry my brothers, as u guys know i seldom meet u guys.
hope u guys understand what i m going through, as u guys did in the past.
hope u guys understand about i have been doing. thanks.

fuck my facebook, cant browse at all.

2009-07-31T23:19:00.000-07:00

周杰伦 - 说好的幸福呢

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这
真的痛了

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不等了
说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

你的回话凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了

时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了
梦远了开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记

得你不等了
说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了
我都还记得

你不等了
说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

2009-07-31T23:07:00.000-07:00

这次是我第一次用华文来表答我的感受。
心情沉重。充满一些不愈快的事。
充满阍乱的思想。
关于爱情，宾营，环镜，还有一些混杂的思想。
取我所知，未来是个很难去猜撤的现使。
所以我几乎都是因为这些事情而烦。
而且我也知到这是没有必要的。

ps; sorry bout the chinese, might have mismatch some phrases.

2009-07-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

FS told me this:" when u are thinking of a woman, its really damn difficult to serve army."

well, i totally agree.

cause it seems week after week.

my book outs i look forward to them.

reason its because i hope i can see her.

not much in demand. a dinner or an outing will do.

but sometimes things cock up. time cock up.

shorter weekends given. or she s busy.

i would admit i like her.

but i m not rushing into anything with my best efforts.

thats because i m still not familiar with her personalities and behaviours.

one thing bout her, she s one fine lady.

who s enjoying her life.

hopefully i ll be given a chance.

to understand her more.

to talk to her more.

to meet her more.

next, i would say every army boy have things to complain about.

how army sucks

how army 'consume' our time

what sort of 'privileges' army gives us.

every book out, at TFT( tekong ferry terminal)

i always see this.

"It's not what you leave behind, it's what you'll gain in the days ahead."

to me, there are lots of ways to think or understand its meanings.

sometimes i think that.

although army is using up my precious 2 years, but they are training me up to be a man.

so that i ll benefit myself after this 2 years. maybe i ll get myself a better life, love life, a better job.

or maybe, i ll lose something now, but as time goes by, i ll gain something better, or maybe much more better than what i can gain now.

but whenever i see that message,

i always thought of,

whether i shld forget bout love life, and concentrate on the army now.

so as to be able to make life easier for me in army.

or maybe

just concentrate on army, and during weekends try my luck to go after my love life.

which makes things more in a slower process.

well i would say happy endings are not that easy to gain.

overall, i hope things turn out well, cause i do not know how to express myself towards this dilemma i m having.

lastly, an update.

today its saturday, and i m booking in at 1825.

tml early morning will be my first day of outfield,

hope things goes well for me.

i just wan things to go smoothly.

may the blessings be on my side.

take care my friends, the ones i cherish.

2009-07-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

ok abit of army update.

completed my live firing range,

i scored 27/32 shots, which is just average.

even though its rated as a marksman, it could be better.

nth much in army this week, the usual physical trainings.

completed 6km route march, and had the first try at SOC ground.

nth much, but things seem to be better now.

in a weeks time i ll be going for outfield.

T.T camou on, zzz.

book out at last evening, book in on sunday 1325. this is early man.

well, its due to the reason, my platoon has a H1N1 case. but don worry, i m still well. haha.

thanks to all the guy who gave me their wishes and prayings. muchly appreciated.

haiz, due to H1N1, my mum has been paranoid,

muchly afraid on my immune system and my health.

but its understandable.

i hope my mum gives me time to adapt to army life,

so that i wun be so ignorant at times towards their care.

give me time, so that i will get used to the weekend book out things.

cause bascially now, every weekend is so precious to me.

well i m sorry my friends bout no pictures.

not much picture to be updated. haha.

but i ll put one. :)

well, ytd was also kai sang's 23rd birthday.

we had dinner with him.

i wish him again HAPPY BIRTHDAY KS.

anyway in the picture, as u can see. i m BOTAK! which make me realise i prefer short hair.

last night, i was able to meet up with Qiwan(secondary school mate).

so glad was able to have some catching up session with her.

i would say she has turn out to be a fine lady.

sweet looking.

i hereby wish her well.

and hope i didnt make her feel boring. !P

well, other than that,

i had some rather random feelings,

as in, i feel myself losing touch in certain things.

i would dare to admit i have intentions on getting a girlfriend.

but still i ll remind myself to be patient.

not to be rush.

but when it comes to girls,

i realise nowadays its so difficult to be myself.

i try to be nice, but yet being nice do not gain much attention.

but being nice yet still gains impression.

so i m quite 'mao tun'.

but don worry, i m sure i ll be fine. i just need time.

and i hope i ll be given a chance, to show that i m the one, and i do care.

well thats about it.

sorry if some of my post is abit difficult to understand.

but feel free to call me, if u guys wanna know more. :)

i need to have alot of catching up session too.

prayers:

God,

I thank you for ur wonderful blessings.

It has been tough n rough,

for the past month.

but i want to thank you for having faith in me.

and

i ask you to continue to bless me,

the strength,

the mentality,

the health,

the safetyness,

the wellness,

the sense of security,

in every way of life.

and

of course,

not just to me,

most importantly,

my parents,

secondly, my beloved pals,

my church friends,

and

the one i love,

which i m not sure if i ve found it.

And

i need your guidance,

on searching the peace i need,

wherever i go.

afterall,

God,

i thank you,

and

i need your blessings.

and

let my faith in you increase,

as time goes by.

In jesus name i pray,

AMEN!

2009-07-11T19:49:00.001-07:00

sunday morning. yes and i just booked out after my confinement.
well. reached home at 1030.
kinda disappointed but what else can i complain,
later 1825, i m bookin in again.
at least i m not wasting my time.
i m updating my post, later have a round of leisure dota.
rest awhile. later may be meeting QW for late lunch.*smile*

for this coming week, guys please wish me luck and pray hard for me.
cos i ll be having my very first live range firing on monday.
pray hard that everything will be successful, don cock ups.
no misfires. and no dumb assistants. in order to help me out properly during my firing.
pray hard that everything will be smooth.
and i m in the list for a drill competition.
but still not sure wanna be in my best marching performance anot.
so. thats about all.
well. everyone take care. including myself. hopefully no more confinements for me till i POP.
and less injuries for me too.
see ya.

2009-07-10T05:57:00.000-07:00

whoa...
just did some window blogging,
seems like people are getting employed,
and people are getting into interesting lessons outside of class (eg drum lessons, MT lessons.)
so envy.
donno after ORD, though its still long way to go, still got time to do such 'curricular activities' not

anyway, its friday night.
and i finally got to book out,
which is in the 4th week of bmt.
hmmm, tonight its quite limited night for me, cos i ve got to book in at 0715.
yes and its confinement due to some stupid mistake i did.
so i ve got nth much to elaborate on.
just pray for my recovery of my cough.
and pray hard for my live range this coming monday.
take care everyone whom i have not been able to catch up with.

2009-07-07T18:40:00.000-07:00

some of you may be wondering why am i online.
i was sent back to home from camp due to fever.
i was sent back the night before.
in any case, i booking in tonight at 2030.
although my fever is gone, but my sorethroat, cough, flu is there.
and its irritating me.
well may the holy spirit be with me.
to protect me from all this illnesses.

2009-07-07T02:31:00.000-07:00

well, its been sometime since i posted something here.
here's a update.
i m serving BMT in tekong now.
currently week 4.
i m still quite confused.
and had a conversation with my cousin earlier.
this was what he said.

make friends, you see your friend suffer with you, why will you give up?
end of the day you will only do things for the guy RIGHT beside you.
not for your country
not for your family
its the guy beside you that will push you on
you got watch war movie before? its the same thing.
when you go through shit together, you ll become damn close
if you leave your friend to suffer alone
you will grow distant
its just that simple
the more you suffer together, the more you complain together, the more close you become.
so how you perform, largely depends on whos there for you.
who is pushing you and motivating you
and who you want to push n motivate
if you're motivated, you ll find people motivated around you too.
wayang and read drive is very obvious.
if you're wayang, you ll see that nobody can be bothered with you
so just do wat you can
and you ll find friends
END OF THE DAY, BE YOURSELF.
if its meant to be its meant to be.
if its not, then who cares?
its just army.
end of the day its just 2 years of your life.
it can be the worse time of your life, the best time of your life, or even both.
EVERYBODY HAS DONE IT, WHY CANT YOU?

this kinda thing is up to individual.
if you ask me i think bmt was damn fun.
you go command school will only be worse
bmt only kena whack. you anything you still protected.
command school, kena whack, you do anything wrong, you kena whack like mad.
you still have to have appointments, have responsibilities.
you IC before?
command school be IC not so simple. you take training. you plan exercise.
you think like BMT?
anything happen whos fault? your fault. you take care of other people.
if you don dare to take such responsibility, i don think you are ready for command school
but of course, these kinda things depend on your perspective.

as for punishments. everyone sure kanna one.
you can take joy in kena guard duty. spend more in camp = make more friends.
its all up to you.
and of course, every vocation got responsibility
but your rank higher = you tio more shit
men is the most relax one
people ask you do, you do. then after that you slack.
if you commander, you ask them do, you do with them, then after that they resting, you do MORE things. you do paperwork, you planning.

there are fucked up people everywhere, doesnt mean you have to be one of them.
if u wanna be a fucked up commander, of couse you will be more slack
you ask your men do go, then you go slack.
can it be done? yes. end of the day, you ll suffer.

people have eyes, if they know you re slacking, you think they ll work for you?
when you dont have the interests of those you are looking after. you will not earn their respect.
end othe day they will not work for you.
and you will be in deep shit.

LOSING RESPECT, EASY AS PIE.
EARNING RESPECT, EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

personally, i find it motivating for me. i needed some clarifications.
but of course this is one point of view. and i think is more than enough.

2009-05-16T02:09:00.001-07:00

you mention that i didnt show respect, maybe u are talkin bout that time at kopitiam. you say that i didnt respect u guys the feelings? but did u guys respect my feelings? so does it mean that i m going in ns, you should say more bout it? just to make me more upset?

i m still talkin bout it. because i feel unfair. totally unfair. because i may not be right, but that doesnt mean u may not be wrong. so many misunderstandings.

2009-05-16T01:48:00.000-07:00

how come am i the one, always in the wrong, saying the wrong sentences at the wrong timing.
i know, i m like this, but it doesnt apply that what i say, do not respect to anyone. u assume that i have intentions, which i dont. even for a friend, u feel that these are my flaws. but have u reflected urself? have any of us said about u? i m not tryin to pinpoint anything. i m jus sayin that i have my flaws, so do u too.
you expect me not to change after all this years? you expect me to be someone who is still allowing others to misguide me? of cos, not. i thank you for pinpointing my mistakes. but maybe is you,lm and jack.
but one thing is just don get it. why m i the only one? it seems that now i m being outcasted? why because i have such an attitude which u guys assume i show no respect? if u guys want respect, how bout some respect for me? some respect for my misbehaviour due to upcoming events.

because of such things, the group u meant to hold onto, is so broken up. its just like i have my own perspective, n u have urs. but non can accomodate. because of such things. msges arent replied.

i donno what to say la. after all this years, the least i expected, from u. all i can say is. u changed which leads to ur life, which leads to ur environment which leads to ur frens, which leads to their lifes. better or worse. no one knows. maybe for me, i m still a pre-enlistee, i m not as matured as ur guys are. maybe i m still naive. but at least i know there are 2 perspective to 1 situation.

2009-05-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

pessimistic cause all this. i wouldnt deny that its my fault.

lol... whatever it is, i just wanna say i have my perceptions, if u guys think is wrong, i would appreciate it. but if i give a fark up face, i would say this is me, and i do not like it. cant i have my own choice of wats right and wrong. cant i choose my own decision on whats right whats wrong?
everyone is changing, thats why one another might have misunderstandings.
every thing started just because i lied. just because i come up with excuses.

ya, after all this things happen, i mistook what u said( backing me up). because all i can remember is my ass getting saved by u all whenever i got myself into trouble because of my mouth during my secondary sch days. **** sry that i mistook ur words. the last time at kopitiam, maybe becos of the encounting days of enlisting my mood got sucky, tts y my birdbrain childish thoughts came out. **** i m sorry too.
my lousy look, my lousy attitude, my lousy reactions. i m sorry too. cause i do not know what react. how to smile, when i got myself into some stupid r/s thing. how to smile when i m enlisting knowing that everyone has ORDED. how to smile when alot of things are troubling me. the twist in my life thats gonna start after i enter ns. the responsibilities of an only child, only son. the reality in life, that my parents are getting old. i m just too troubled. maybe tts y i neglect the feelings of others around me.

P.s. fs i would say i fail to be a good friend or maybe a good brother. but it aint easy for me to set things the right way if i wanna be more decisive on my own. i know u tell me the mistakes tt i do is wrong. but sometimes i just wanna be firm with myself tt wat i m choosing it right. and i shld have some confidence in myself. but why is it things on being judged on me when u all start giving comments. all the things it didnt sound like advices. ur gf doesnt like me i don care, but u know me for so long, u know how pessimistic i m, tts y sometimes i cant set my thinkings rite. i may not be able to think like how u guys think. maybe i m still naive, mayb i m still a boy, but still i need room to grow. anyway i m just sorry, i m apologizing on my part.

P.s. jacintha, if u are reading this, please, i do not know how long i ll be able to bare. it seems like i m the one displeasing ppl around me. how come when i wanna be firm with my own decisions yet ppl come n tell me its wrong.

guess i made myself nothing but an option to others. LOL. what a joke.

2009-05-12T01:22:00.000-07:00

i thought all the while, its just about us, the guys. i mean the problems.
we have knew each other for 8 years. we ve seen each other weaknesses and habits.
if one cant change its habits, isnt it right to forgive?
if one has a weakness, isnt it right to help him stand strong.
but i do not know why, all this issues are being comment by someone who doesnt know me well.
i m not picking on anyone, but i just find it, not properly judged.

i thank you for the past 8 years, for helping me to stand strong in not to be a coward.
i thank you for helping me to learn how to protect myself.
i thank you for saving me when i got myself deep trouble.
i also thank you for being there when i got kicked out of house.

but most of the time, when u are down, sad, depressed, cry, we were there.
have you seriously seen me broken down before? were you there?
maybe you were, i not sure. cause maybe i ve forgotten.

and i seriously cant believe. just because of one small lie, all this things have resulted.
just because i accidentally messaged you i m working, when i was actually playing dota, when my mind was not focused on the msg. which in fact i was not working.
one lie make all this, i cant imagine what will happen if one big lie happens.
one lie and i m being judged.
i do admit i did send such a message. i realised it after a few days. but have i judged u for the past 8 years? the moment you say that i ve changed, means that i m being judged.
and i would like to pinpoint.
me having a jiaobin, like wat jess dislikes, you know me, you know i frown when i talk sometimes naturally. so i do not give a fark face on purpose.
i do not know why all this are happening. everyone has their own habits and weaknesses. if you do not judge, you shall not be judge. if u don care that u are being judge, n the other does. where s the fairness. if we are brothers, we should not be judging one another.
compliments and advices are allowed. accepting or not accepting is another thing.

do not judge, and u shall not be judge.
do not condemn, and u shall not be condemn.
give, and u will be given to u.
forgive, and u shall be forgiven.

2009-05-10T02:06:00.000-07:00

being extra caring must not mean to be through advance notice.
being extra caring can be backing up each others back.
if someone close to u, and u think it wld be impossible to talk sense into, why not try supporting.
if it ends up falling down, why not be extra caring by supporting from the back. everyone has to fall before they are able to learn.
this kind of stuff is different from saving someone ass from some gangster shit.
this kind of stuff more to the relation side.

i m not being insulting, humiliating, gossiping, backstabbing.
neither m i going against anyone. i would just say different interpretations n perceptions.
if you are true to someone, u do things willingly, without expecting any in return.

what make me have all this thoughts.
firstly, i have to tell myself to think in this way. everyone has their own life.
u guys go in ns with someone u know be4 u enter ns.
as for me. i m going in alone. i m freakin doing things alone.
since i have to do things alone. then i have to tell myself its my life tts y i m doing things alone.

P.S: i know time has change, people will change too. but i'm sorry. people fall in different ways.
and they climb out of it learning in different mindsets.

2009-05-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

all along i do not know if i m an option to you,
you just happily enjoy yourself.
i call u, u are outside, so i don disturb u.
when i tired, i nv call u, i head to bed, u on the other side expect me to call.
you mention that u this week busy, becos ur frens are back and u got some other things, i don disturb. i did all this becos i respect u.
in the end i got nothing in return. true what could i expect more?
but when i call u, i needed u, where are u?
with your frens enjoying urself.
to u i m a piece of emo shit. but have u ever thought wat kind of situation i m in?
to u is just do watever that u like, that will make u happy.
i do not know bout u, whether u have things to worry or not. but i do have mine.

every single day i think of you, i miss you, but u do not ever seem to call me, msg me.
i respect u, i let u do wat u like. in the end, this is how u think of me.
the problems lies where we do not ask y often.
and u have nv ever mention bout ur feelings towards me.
i need a certain answer in order for me to move forward and do things for u.
but yet it doesnt.
really my last post does tell me y. n y the problem lies in me.

826 fish&chips
popcorn chicken
443 duck noodles.
bai hua she chao shui(white flower snake noisy water)

2009-05-05T01:38:00.000-07:00

"You are addicted to the idea of love. As an individual you are seductive and magnetic. You easily attract others with your sexuality & charisma People want to be with you… people want YOU. In your mind you know exactly what perfect love is ...and desire nothing less …you deserve it. You hunger for sensuality and crave intimacy. You adore simple expressions of love …like a soft kiss on the forehead …or the touch of a loving finger tip on your lips. However most of your loving is played out in your head. You tend to over-think issues relating to love ...often misinterpreting other’s motives in the process. You are very inventive in finding ways for people to show you how they feel ...and at time your need for confirmation backfires on you. You are seeking your ideal vision of love ...and cannot easily accept your partners imperfections. You can be very demanding in your expectations and can quickly discard anyone who does not meet your high standards. As a result, your love life is active but not fulfilling ...your relationships tend to be short lived or shallow. You may in a long term relationship but your are secretly yearning for more."

i hate to admit but its true.

2009-05-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

i dono why u are giving me cold shoulder nowadays, i m sorry about what i said. can give me another chance? i know i m boring sometimes, i know i show my jiaobin. but i m sorry. in my head i have always been tryin so hard to think of how to make u smile. how to make u laugh. sometimes i even thought being bo chap will be better. in the end u became even more bo chap. and i m reacting in whatever ways its becos i care.

i ve seen the good side of you, i ve seen the bad side of u (which is enough). i dono what to say to prove things wrong. but it seems i lacking of chances. sometimes i think too much, i thought that being out with me is boring, tts y u don wanna meet me. call u, u aso ai mai ai mai like tt.

i just want another chance.

2009-05-03T15:33:00.000-07:00

maybe i should spend time taking pictures.

2009-05-03T03:15:00.001-07:00

well... this coming week i shall be working for the last 3 days at asian kitchen(wed, thurs, fri). anyone wanna look for me, i ll be working from 12-3,6-9pm. feel free to dropby, i ll be happy to serve.

haha. 5 more weeks to enlistment date. 4 more weeks in singapore 1 week in korea. ya, i ll be going to korea from 1st june-8th june. the other 4 weeks in singapore, i seriously got no idea what to do, or what to plan.

if i meet eric liaw, the plan is fishing.
if i meet ah mah, i donno i wld end up meeting who. ( fs,jack,lm,ks) or (jer,sam)
if i meet jonathan, he s quite boring la. always no ideas. always think of steph the girl he likes.
pearlyn, i can forget bout meeting her, cos congrats she s got a new date.haha.
jessilyn, i want to see her so badly, but i seriously dono if she wans to see me or meet me.

4 weeks later, alot of things are gonna change, not just my freedom, not just the fact i m serving ns, alot other things, my whole life's gonna change.

some people may disagree with me for who i choose to like. but its my decision, and its my FARKING LIFE. so if u are some best friend of mine, i will kindly appreciate that u support me, instead of giving my negative advices. n let me tell anyone of u out there. i know what i m doing.

8yrs back, we were young, notorious, playful. but now things have change. everyone has their own goal to work for, own path to choose, own decisions to make. sometimes its best to keep quiet and enjoy the moment, rather than one who opens up his mouth to spoil things. you got ur own life to lead, i got mine too. i choose for my own future not anyone else.

so the moral of the whole thing is, i m going in ns, if u are some really nice friend of mine, please do not stand in my way.

2009-04-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

wake up kenneth,wake up
accept the reality,
where different lifes roams around the world.
its not all that u can change,
only some.
so do not intervene any.

2009-04-23T10:27:00.001-07:00

myself, i do not feel that i m thinking too much.
i keep quiet does not mean i do not care.
i just want u to be happy.
therefore i did not stop u from doing things that u want to.
hope u are aware of my kindness and appreciate it.
i just want u to smile.

2009-04-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

my feelings are falling deeper,
i m trying so hard,
things can work out well and i need your cooperation.
i just hope you meant better.

just simply crazy over you

2009-04-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

first thing in the morning,
all i think about is u.

2009-04-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

i do have feelings for you,
i do want to have you,
but whenever i say things which i really mean, you doubt those words.
its been so long, since i felt something for someone.
i want to know you better, i want to understand u better.
i know sometimes i say retard stuff, but i don mean it at all.

sometimes i know i m boring,
sometimes i know i m too much of a mummyboy,

i wanna company u when u are bored,
but i have to turn to bed early becos i have to work,
no work no money,
no money, i cant bring u out everyday.

i have been brainstorming, thinking of what i should do, what i should say,
sometimes my brain go haywire, making me feel jealous,
but at the end of it, i not in any spot to be sensitive.
and i mean when i m jealous, i get freaking jealous making me moody.
i have always want to be understanding.
guess i m just me, maybe there are limits to what i can do.

2009-04-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

guess its best to stay numb.
girls are too hard to understand
guys are always doing the wrong things when girls are involved
what is right?

should i stay quiet?
should i just do not care?
should i just cast myself away and do what i am suppose to do?

blablabla

2009-04-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

missing you
tihnking of you

2009-04-06T04:29:00.001-07:00

whatever i do, i got no bad intentions.
but never would i have thought,
what i tried to do,
ends up giving negative results.

i'm sorry

2009-03-29T03:46:00.000-07:00

for a moment,
while i was standing the window of my kitchen,
i felt nothing,
no fear, no thoughts.
the feeling was so sorrow that,
the choice was there for me to just end my road of desires.

i do not know what is happening to me.
but
i pray for the better in the near future.